You are already loved

When discussing the topic of being loved by others it seems many people have the belief that being loved is something that is EARNED and that are certain things we MUST do to up-keep LOVE by those who we give it to.

Amongst those wondering and fickle beliefs there are TRUTHS….and there are also LIES. Love is not something that has to be EARNED. I read once that it can only be given, but for two people to love each other they must be TRUE in nature.

It’s such a deep topic to stumble upon because there is really so much MORE to love and how we share/create it within our own individual and unique lives….yet CAN love be TRUE if we are not first TRUE to ourselves and others? With the ones we love? If they are true with us?

If we are untrue in our thoughts and actions, the way we carry ourselves even…that means our love is UNTRUE as well. It means our friendships, relationships, our families and everything we think we LOVE are built on a bed of broken truths. This is an extremely unsafe foundation for taking care of the people we love.  How people can let this happen?

I have nothing left to give but fight for truth everything single time. Even if it hurts. Even if it makes everything more complicated. Maybe it was built into my design. I will always be a warrior for it….so when I see people sad and hurting because they are exhausted by trying to EARN love from others. I want them to slow down for a minute and realize that TRUE love cannot be EARNED. The people who love you…already love you for who you are every single day.

YOU ARE ALREADY LOVED. You  DO NOT have to EARN it.

 

Don’t let the Worst people….

Don’t let them win. Don’t let people with an overall negative presence affect you negatively. There just seems to be so many of them out there lately!

I feel like its almost negative to write a post along these lines….when in theory people are more complex then just being a nice person or an mean one. I really just think something I have noticed lately about adulting, is that bullies STILL EXIST!!! I don’t know I guess I just thought that when people became ADULTS they grew a sense of MATURITY….where bullying wouldn’t be a thing anymore. But I GUESSED WRONG. lol

When bullies are mad. Practice staying calm.
When bullies throw a fit….try your hardest not to throw a fit back.
When their taddling on you….don’t taddle back.
When their gossiping about you…don’t gossip back.

Focusing your energy onto the negative will bring you just that.

AKA When they are doing anything to harm you…be bigger they are. Try your best to make the situation. One thing I’ve noticed lately it is that miserable people will go out of there way to cause problems for you. For absolutely no reason. They will make a problem for us to deal with just to because they are the WORST kinda of person. The best we can do is try to not let it affect us and not let us hurt who we are. Stand unwavering. 

Don’t let them fool you into thinking your anything other then what you are.
Its almost like some people exist to cause problems for us and their punishment is that itself. There are just some people out there that really cant help but be everyone’s problem. The universe does not hold you accountable for THEIR character.

Choose to continue to move forward on a positive foot and don’t let them win.

Choose to be the PEACE. Choose to lead.

Remember to Listen

Listening is a powerful tool when it comes to relationships and family life but is often taken for granted in a busy modern electronic device filled world…

I challenge you to pay closer attention to it and the affect can have in your everyday lives by making listening to the important people in your life a priority

BUT HOW????

At the end of your day reach out to your loved ones and see how their days went. Usually….This question is followed by a simple answer somewhere along the lines of…”It was okay…It was normal…It was good…”

Unless you have a talker on your hands who is in touch enough with their talking side. In that case they’ll just spill the entirity of their day and put it up on the table for all to see..

Sometimes peoole aren’t really sure what you want to hear about their day…some probing questions might be needed to encourage people into talking mode. 

WHY WOULD I DO THIS??? I WOULD RATHER BE WATCHING NETFLIX???

BECAUSE. IT IS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!

It keeps your relationships in a healthy place. It shows to the other person that you care about their day and how it went. It shows that you are interested in their life not just your own experience from day to day. It creates intamacy and a geunine care inside of your relationships with others. 

It makes everyone feel appreciated.

Appreciation is soooooo important. It shows the other person you appreciate them and that you are there for them. That you are a safe open place to come to when someone needs to talk. 

Ways you can probe into the details of someone else’s day? Come up with some questions 🙂 you should know your loved ones well enough to have something in mind…little details…

Ask them everything and listen. <3


 

Here’s to the People

Here is to the people that join us on this journey. Who walk across our paths and find us.

Here is to the people who light our way and guide us. 

They might stay for little. They might stay for a long…yet each one is a part of our story.

I am not speaking of family, friends,or loves. I am speaking about the people who cheer for us from the sidelines each and every day.

They come as Customers, Guests, Co-workers, Children, Employees, Peers, Students, Classmates, Teammates, the list goes on and on…The people who don’t come to stay but help shape who we ARE because simply they put up with us. 

They saw us at our best. They saw us at our worst. They saw us because they probably had to, but they where there. They where a constant.

They shared their support in forms of laughter and cheer. They shared advice. They shared their experiences. They shred themselves

Sharing ideas! Sharing inspiration and hope for the future and finding yourself lost in that. Because as a whole; all of them….all of these people helped you get to the you that you are now.

The doctors. The architects. The dreamers. The playful. The ones who heal with a license and the ones who heal because it’s in their soul. 

They remind you of what point you where at in your life when they came along. They remind you where you came from and what it took to get to here. The NOW.


They listened to your stories. They listened about the good times and the bad. They shared their piece of the puzzle before you moved on the next.

No…we where not always aware of these people while they are around. Maybe not as thankful as we could have been. When we look back the past we can still see them smiling and the thoughtfulness it took for them to be a part of it all. 

 They are unique. They are blessings in disguise. I have never been more thankful for all the ones who came across my path. I have had my fair share of classes, jobs, & teams. It brings me joy to see where these people are now. 

This goes out to them

So here is the people who didn’t have like us yet made a choice to lift us up. <3

38 Ways to Surprise Your Love & Things you can do together this Winter.

 

    Here I am. Here to give you ideas. Here to keep you inspired! Here to remind you to spice things up out of the normal everyday routine. Relationships and Marriages can become too complicent when we let them sit for too long. Love is an action.We let routine take over…whilst LOVE the gets put on a backburner to soooo many things.

      Life is busy….kids are put first….work is put first.  Bump it up a notch! Take control. Throw some surprises in there to spark it up. Stir the pot. Be love. 

1.) Be nice to them. Lol. No, but for realllll!
     There is a reason I am going to go with this one first. I see it all too much on a daily basis. I don’t seem to have this problem myself. I don’t have it in me. Yet, I watch sooo many couples I know treat each other like garbage. Even if they think they are being funny. 

     Name calling, cold shoulders, dirty looks. Become aware how often you do this. Start bringing to nice back. One smile at a time

2.) Surprise them with their favorite candy bar. 

3.) Cook their favorite meal. (That you are capable of re-creating.)

4.) Pop popcorn and watch some of your favorite movies from when you were kids.

5.)Tell them how grateful you are for them, and everything they do for you! Practice gratitude….always always alwayss!

6.) Make them pancakes for breakfast at random!!! Pancakes are the bomb!

7.) Suggest board game night!

     In front of the fireplace? With a glass of wine? Or possible whiskey for your fella. Snacks? Non-alcohol fun time? Sub for pizza? 

8.) Pizza night. Make pizza! Cuz pizza pizza pizza! 

(Don’t worry they make gluten-free dough these days….refer to organic section of your local grocery store for that. )

9.) Ice cream Night! Brownie Sundaes?

10.) That one thing they’ve needed for forever but haven’t gotten around to purhasing it. Spoil em

  11.) Spontaneous back massage! Everyone is falling apart. Life is rough….and don’t go cheap on em! Put in a good effort sport! 

12.) If you really are too lazy for 11.) Spontaneous neck message whilst watching night time tv. This is also great for headaches. Ask your other half what points of pressure help relieve migrine symptoms the best for them.

13.) If they share chores with you. Do some of theirs sometime…maybe they will return the favor. I know alot of my friends assign specific chores for each partner…so if that’s you and you have some extra time…maybe help relieve their stressful day by giving them one less thing they have to do. 

14.) Tell them to dress up because your going out. Surprise them with that new restaurant. Yanno the one on top of that building in downtown or at that new casino…(Just a guess we have alot of both around here. Just maybe something unique?)

15.) Cigars. If your man is into it. Get him a nice cigar.

16.) Plan a trip to go see a family member they haven’t seen in a while. Whether it be a parent, a sibling, a grandparent, a cousin, aunts and uncles. Family is important. Don’t forget to go see them!

17.) Go see that friend they haven’t seen in awhile! Same idea. I feel like we don’t see our friends enough…unless they’re our coworkers. Love you guys too though :p <3

18.) Surprise them with…. Night sledding!!!!! If your lucky like we are and the snow came and never went away ».« LOL. Tubing? Snowboarding? Load up the car grab some hot cocoa (which you can find at a local gas station if you lazy.) Don’t forget to dress warm.

19.) Go try one of those movie theatres that serve food and beverages. The one near us is called The Movie Tavern!.

20.) Indoor go-karts! Race time!

21.) Meet them for lunch.…if you can. If not surprise then with a premade lunch to sometime.

22.) Make them a playlist of some of the songs you both used to jam out too when you first got together.

23.) Listen to them. Ask yourself are you really listening to them?  Do you really let yourself absorb into their life? Do you ask them about their day? Okay so you asked how their day was….did you ask what they liked about it? What their favorite part was? If anything funny happened? What parts sucked?

Don’t fall into the regular it was okay how was yours gig……really dig in. Get to know them more each day. Be a bigger part of that day by really wanting to be there and being there to listen

24.) Watch their favorite show…instead of yours. If you are one of those people…share the love.

25.) Go out for breakfast. Diners are so charming and full of the best greasiest breakfast bundle of love you will ever get. Also waffle houses are cool too.

26.) Get all the ice and snow off their car too. Its the little things!

27.) Pick up baked goods! Everyone loves surprise donuts! Pastries! Canolis!.

28.) Bake a dessert yourself! Maybe an old favorite or something new just for fun!

29.) Technology takes over. Its 2017… We all know it. Suggest a quiet book reading night. If you don’t have any books lying around, Library’s still exist and I am sure they would appreciate the company.

30.) Invite family or friends over to you. Don’t be hermits! Have a movie night or plan a dinner. It can even be themed with a dish to pass.

31.) Try a new at home activity together. They are free! Duh! Try doing a yoga work out together or learn a dance. Youtube is great for stuff like that. Maybe I will even find some good examples to share with you guys. I am almost positive it will bring laughter.

32.) Local brewery or wine tasting sesh. Theres so many new places popping up everywhere! Support local. Support dreams.

33.) Make a cheese plate! Be fancy at home.

34.) Visit a park you would normally go to in warmer weather. I am sure they are just as beautiful when the snow falls! 

35.) Find pictures from when you first got together and talk about the memories that they bring. 

36.)  Thank them for just being them. Thank them for the truth they bring and the light they share. 

37.) Make a blanket fort. I know it is probably overrated on the internet but is it really ever??? Blanket forts are for indoor camping in the winter. Make an event out of it. You can roast marshmellows on the stove.

 Send pictures of yours so I can be filled with laughter and joy <3.

38.) Compliment them 138273282372723 different ways because love deserves that. Don’t let them forget all the ways they are amazing for being them. How they are unique, driven, loving, patient (with you), how fun they are, what they mean to you. What YOU like about THEM. Reasons you still fall for them every day. Tell them those reasons through compliments. 

Remember to love. 

Xoxo Ashley